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Church fights are more than just money down the drain.
Here's the article creating all the commotion.

Understanding the Narcissist: Origins

Much of what follows is paraphrased from a 1997 article. It is still a good partial description of how the narcissist comes to be and how they related to the world.

Frederica Halligan. “Narcissism, Spiritual Pride, and Original Sin.” Journal of Religion and Health 36, no. 4 (Dec 1997): 305-320.

There are large numbers of people who suffer from narcissistic disorders.... They enter therapy in the belief, with which they grew up, that their childhood was happy and protected when the opposite was more often true. The parents are often themselves like "insecure children." They may see in their offspring a weaker creature that, in contrast, makes them feel strong. Many parents may attempt to over-control the child, out of the parents' own feelings of being helpless, weak, or afraid. Often they try to relive (or live for the first time) academic success or athletic prowess through their children. In such situations, parents are unable to fulfill the child's primary narcissistic needs because the parents grew up in an atmosphere where their own narcissistic needs were never met.

 Thus the parents themselves were deprived and throughout life they have been searching for what they did not receive—someone to admire and attend to them. They look to their children for gratification of their own needs. In this tremendous focus on parents' needs, parents tend to reject a child's "true self." They often reject the child's negative feelings with the result that the child often admits only to feelings that the parents approve. The cost is depression and emptiness which is often covered over by grandiosity.

Even the most gifted and successful narcissists are haunted by their underlying fear of rejection and failure. According to prevailing, general attitudes, these people—the pride of their parents—should have had a strong and stable sense of self-assurance. But exactly the opposite is the case. In everything they undertake they do well and often excellently; they are admired and envied; they are successful whenever they care to be—but all to no avail. Behind all this lurks depression, the feeling of emptiness and self-alienation, and a sense that their life has no meaning. These dark feelings will come to the fore as soon as the drug of grandiosity fails, as soon as they are not "on top," not definitely the "superstar," or whenever they suddenly get the feeling they failed to live up to some ideal image and measure they feel they must adhere to. Then they are plagued by anxiety or deep feelings of guilt and shame" (citing Miller, 1981, 5-6).

In similar manner, narcissistic rage may occur as a defense in a child whose parents were unavailable or in families which rejected some part of the child's true self. Emptiness, self-alienation, guilt, and shame—these are the profound feelings from which the narcissist runs. Behind the perfect persona lies a tremendous sense of failure and a terror that one is, in essence, unlovable. Here is the abyss of the soul.

This abyss is often well hidden and people with narcissistic personalities spend a great deal of time and effort shoring up the persona so that no one knows the anguish they feel. Any sign of indifference, any slight or rejection causes them great suffering (and often defensive rage). Least of all do they want to know of, or to deal with, this "hole in the soul." The resistance here is high; too much honesty exposes them to the most dreadful feelings of abandonment.

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