Dysfunction Junction Blog
Hope for Messed Up Churches (and everyone in them)!

 

 

The Blog

 
Church fights are more than just money down the drain.
Here's the article creating all the commotion.

The Narcissist in Intimate Relationships - A case Study, Part 3.

 

Crystal began to tell the boys that Brysen was physically and emotionally abusive to her. Though they had never seen him be violent, Crystal brought them in on her “terrible secret” and swore them to secrecy. She then said that she loved them more than their own mother, and how she wished that they were her boys. Crystal then began to slander Barbara to the boys while bribing them with expensive clothes and promising trips to Disneyworld and learning to surf.

Brysen, in the meantime, tried to text Barbara without Crystal knowing about it. Crystal demanded to know who he was texting, grabbed his phone, and then smashed it against some rocks when she saw the text was to Barbara. In a rage, she began to punch Brysen in the face, and Brysen hit her back. The boys saw it all, and were horrified.

Brysen found himself in the guest room for the next several weeks as much to avoid Crystal’s ongoing verbal assaults as it was because she exiled him there. She blamed her behavior on him, insisting that he made her hit him. Brysen began to believe it. Even when they were on good terms, Crystal could weaponize a compliment to Brysen in a way that only he would know it was an insult. Never strong in self-worth, Brysen began to sink further and further into the isolation that hallmarked their relationship.

She had the uncanny ability to know his weakest points, and did her best to destroy what self-confidence he had left. Again, as the Billy Joel song says, “She will promise you more than the Garden of Eden, then she’ll carelessly cut you and laugh while you’re bleedin’.”

Brysen decided to leave her, but was not prepared for her response. She had kept a ledger of everything she had spent on him and the boys, and insisted he was legally obligated to pay back every penny. She demanded reimbursement for food, clothes, rent, toys, sporting good, the trips they had taken – and even demanded that he give back all the clothes she had bought him, even though she had thrown out all of his other clothes.

By now Brysen was so entangled in this sick relationship that he believed her – and stayed.

Add a Comment

(Enter the numbers shown in the above image)